All I wanted to do today was paddle the kayak to the middle of the lake and sit there, quietly bobbing up and down, no noise, no people, no thoughts, no worries. There are a number of obstacles preventing me from doing that, however, not the least of which is that I don't live on the lake...it's over two hundred miles away.

I've read that some other bloggers have been "wallowing" lately, and they don't know why. Well, I get it. For me, there are days when I am tearful for no apparent reason. Nothing cheers me up; it's almost as if I'm comfortable in my wallowing. That's where I am today.

I took myself out into my art cottage and finished a sign for a friend in honor of her father, whom she lost a few years ago. I thought about our friend Tommy, whom we lost three weeks ago. I thought about how much has been lost in my own life...loved ones, trust, courage, the security that comes with innocent beliefs, time.

Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up feeling better, and I'll be back to being grateful for all that I DO have...loved ones, friends, endless possibilities, dreams and faith. As my parents always told me..."keep the faith; this, too, shall pass."

As an aside...I had a Reiki session last night and when it was over, the Reiki Master said to me, "your father came through for you and said to tell you 'I've got your back'". I'd like to think he does. :)