Thursday, August 13, 2009

All I wanted to do today was paddle the kayak to the middle of the lake and sit there, quietly bobbing up and down, no noise, no people, no thoughts, no worries. There are a number of obstacles preventing me from doing that, however, not the least of which is that I don't live on the's over two hundred miles away.

I've read that some other bloggers have been "wallowing" lately, and they don't know why. Well, I get it. For me, there are days when I am tearful for no apparent reason. Nothing cheers me up; it's almost as if I'm comfortable in my wallowing. That's where I am today.

I took myself out into my art cottage and finished a sign for a friend in honor of her father, whom she lost a few years ago. I thought about our friend Tommy, whom we lost three weeks ago. I thought about how much has been lost in my own life...loved ones, trust, courage, the security that comes with innocent beliefs, time.

Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up feeling better, and I'll be back to being grateful for all that I DO have...loved ones, friends, endless possibilities, dreams and faith. As my parents always told me..."keep the faith; this, too, shall pass."

As an aside...I had a Reiki session last night and when it was over, the Reiki Master said to me, "your father came through for you and said to tell you 'I've got your back'". I'd like to think he does. :)


  1. Hi Carol--
    I think this time of year we all have a bit of wallowing going on. The weather has been
    weird and it's just part of being female.
    Soon we'll have a new transition--Fall.
    Things will slow down and time will allow for
    things to get accomplished.
    Hope tomorrow is better.


  2. What a beautiful and thoughtful gift you made for your friend. I know it will mean so much to her.
    I've been wallowing too because of all the humidity I'm not used to.
    I think it's wonderful your Reiki master had a message for you and I'd bet your Father does have your back.

  3. Thank you both. I talked to a friend of mine on the phone tonite and she was saying that she's been crying endlessly this week. I told her that she's not alone...that it isn't just her.

    It may have something to do with being a woman and possibly the transition of the seasons. I guess anything and everything affects us! We just have to hang in there and trust...keeping the faith.

    I hope both of you are feeling "back to normal" today. At least we know we aren't alone. :)