Risking Life and Limb!

Oh. My. Goodness.  Just a few moments ago, I risked life and limb, LIFE AND LIMB I TELL YOU, to chase this, this critter away from our 300 pound pumpkins!!  (Ok, so they aren't actually 300 pounds yet, but they could be, if this duo would leave them alone!)

Our dog, Lucy, gave the signal...a single bark followed by tense waiting = deer alert; three or so aggressive barks = cat alert; tons of jubilant barking = someone's come to visit us and I must lick them to pieces alert. :P 

Well, once we heard the official deer alert, I grabbed my camera and scooted outside. There, at the back edge of the yard, was this beautiful, dainty, majestic mama deer, grazing right beside the mama rabbit.  Awww, such a maternal feeling. 

We watched the deer stroll around--she did some personal grooming, sniffed the pear tree, then left her calling card. "Oh look honey, it's like Wild Kingdom. How cute."

Then, this formerly beautiful, majestic, and dainty creature began snapping off and chewing the leaves of the pumpkin plants!  The same pumpkin plants that we're trying to grow in order to win a ribbon at the Big E next fall!  HORRORS!!  Someone stop that damn animal!! (those words actually left my mouth).

I started moving rather quickly towards the deer...in the rain, in the wettest part of the yard, without shoes, risking slugs...and, well, she, uh, she didn't care.  She just stood there, slowly snapping off leaves and chewing them.  What the...?? 

When I got within 30 or 40 feet, she began to ever-so-slowly (and quite obnoxiously I think) stroll away, as if to say, "I'm not really hungry anyway." 

Just when I thought I had succeeded in claiming our land once again from the marauder, out of the blueberry bushes comes....BAMBI!  So now there are 2 marauders, 2 intruders, 2 predators, and neither of them is very impressed with this middle-aged woman, barefoot and wet, with a camera, saying something profound like, "Shoo deer...get away from those plants!"  Oh puhleez, they said in unison.  They did. I heard them.

You know, life in the suburbs just isn't what it used to be.  We are at risk for all kinds of crazy things!